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Friday, May 20, 2005

Friday ]
May 20th

Today was a pretty bad field trip at six flags but the orchestra did good and i got to spend the day with melissa even if it was raining the whole time.

Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Tuesday ]
May 3rd - i think this is what i suffer from

What are the symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder?

Social anxiety is the fear of social situations and the interaction with other people that can automatically bring on feelings of self-consciousness, judgment, evaluation, and inferiority.

Put another way, social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression.

If a person usually becomes anxious in social situations, but seems fine when they are alone, then "social anxiety" may be the problem.

Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) is a much more common problem than past estimates have led us to think. Millions of people all over the world suffer from this devastating and traumatic problem every day, either from a specific social anxiety or from a more generalized social anxiety.

In the United States, epidemiological studies have recently pegged social anxiety disorder as the third largest psychological disorder in the country.

A specific social anxiety would be the fear of speaking in front of groups, whereas generalized social phobia indicates that the person is anxious, nervous, and uncomfortable in almost all social situations.

People with social anxiety disorder usually experience significant emotional distress in the following situations:

Being introduced to other people

Being teased or criticized

Being the center of attention

Being watched while doing something

Meeting people in authority ("important people")

Most social encounters, especially with strangers

Going around the room (or table) in a circle and having to say something

This list is certainly not a complete list of symptoms -- other feelings may be associated with social anxiety as well.

The physiological manifestations that accompany social anxiety may include intense fear, racing heart, turning red or blushing, excessive sweating, dry throat and mouth, trembling, swallowing with difficulty, and muscle twitches.

Constant, intense anxiety that does not go away is the most common feature.

People with social anxiety disorder know that their anxiety is irrational and does not make "head" sense. Nevertheless, "knowing" something is never the same thing as "believing" and "feeling" something. Thus, in people with social anxiety, thoughts and feelings of anxiety persist and show no signs of going away despite the fact that socially-anxious people "face their fears" every day of their lives. Only the appropriate therapy works on this, the largest anxiety disorder, the one that few people know anything about.

The good news is that cognitive-behavioral therapy for social anxiety has been markedly successful. People who have had this anxiety problem for long periods of time have blossomed while in therapy. After cognitive-behavioral therapy, people with this problem report a changed life -- one that is no longer controlled by fear and anxiety.

Social anxiety, as well as the other anxiety problems, can be successfully treated. In seeking help for this problem, search for a specialist -- someone who understands this problem well and knows how to treat it.

Become an informed client and ask questions. Do they understand that you feel very self-conscious, that others are watching and forming a negative evaluation about you – or do they minimize what you’re saying and just say, "No, No, No, you’re exaggerating...."

Now it is true that we who have gone through social anxiety do realize our mind is over-exaggerating, but it still FEELS like others are watching and judging us. Our self-consciousness is very real.

If your psychologist/mental health care worker does not understand this, YOU KNOW MORE THAN THEY DO ABOUT SOCIAL ANXIETY. It is very doubtful they will be able to help you.

Also, remember that the true professional will always welcome your questions. If they seem stand-offish and unfriendly, they should not be your choice of a therapist. Those of us who have or have had social anxiety need support, encouragement, and a relatively stress-free environment while we are in therapy.

Does your therapist say, "Face your fears and they’ll go away?"

Sorry, but this therapist does not understand the dynamics of social anxiety. We have constantly faced our fears ever since birth – we’ve HAD TO – and we feel more fearful now than we did in the past.

Seek another therapist. It is imperative you find a psychologist who understands social anxiety completely – because if they don’t even know what it is – how will they know what to do to help you overcome it?

Getting over social anxiety disorder is not an easy task; yet many thousands have already done it.

While you’re in the middle of the problem, it feels hopeless – it feels that you’ll never ever get better. Life is just one gut-wrenching anxiety problem after another. But this can be stopped, quenched, and killed in a relatively short period of time – but you must find a cognitive-behavioral therapist who understands and specializes in the treatment of social anxiety.

Monday, May 2, 2005

Monday ]
May 2nd - still bored

comming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine

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Tuesday, June 7, 2005

Tuesday ]
June 7th

NO more honor strings that makes me depressed because i loved honor strings, but i still have melissa so all is good

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You scored as Posion. Your death will be by poison, probably because you are a glutton and are around so many people that it would be easy to get away with it.

</td>

Posion

100%

Stabbed

87%

Suicide

87%

Suffocated

73%

Bomb

60%

Eaten

47%

Accident

33%

Drowning

33%

Disappear

27%

Disease

20%

Natural Causes

20%

Gunshot

13%

Cut Throat

0%

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

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Monday ]
May 2nd - i get bored

You scored as Eating Disorders. Congratulations! You have an eating disorder! You know what it's like to have "fat" eyelids and that there's exactly 58 calories in one medium-sized green apple. Western society has discarded your well-being for sickly, paper-thin models and celebrities; welcome to the club, sister.

</td>

Eating Disorders

83%

Schizophrenia

50%

Unipolar Depression

42%

Borderline Personality Disorder

25%

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

8%

Antisocial Personality Disorder

0%

Which mental disorder do you have?
created with QuizFarm.com

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Sunday, May 1, 2005

Sunday ]
May 1st - i'm bored


Your English Skills:



Punctuation: 80%

Spelling: 40%

Grammar: 20%

Vocabulary: 20%



Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

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Sunday ]
May 1st - is this me?



Your Love Style is Manic









For you, love is the ultimate rollercoaster

And you love to hold on tight and enjoy the ride

Every time you fall in love, it feels like the first time

And while it's exciting and exhilarating...

It's also stressful and scary!



What's Your Love Style?

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Saturday, April 30, 2005

Saturday ]
April 30th

yesterday was one of my best days in a while, except that i didn't get to do everything i wanted to do, but i guess i could do that a different time.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Wednesday ]
April 27th

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
- jamin
- 'Jamin
- Ben

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
- Snappertu1234
- Imsopredictble
- only two.

THREE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- face
- feet
- wieght

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
- Irish, French, german

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
- heights

- killers

- life

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

- tv
- internet

- MJB.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
- sweatshirt
- shirt
- pants
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS: (singers)
- Ten mile tide
- Taking Back Sunday
- interpol



THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
- narc

- candy shop
- speed of sound

-THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
- Running
- be a better person
- sill be with melissa

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
- i love the color white
- i hate wearing shoes
- i hate my life
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX[/SAME SEX] THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

- height
- hands

- no comment

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO:

- sing
- dance
- be on my own
THREE OF YOUR HOBBIES:
- cello
- internet
- television
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
- kiss melissa
- hug melissa
- go to sleep.

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:
- musician
- pshyciatrist
- dpctpr
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
- flordia
- bahamas
- Hawaii

THREE KIDS’ NAMES:
- Richard aka dick
- Aloyissous
- sophia
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
- sky dive
- be amazing at the cello
- have sex
THREE PEOPLE WHO NOW HAVE TO DO THIS. OR ELSE:
- ummm i don't have many people.

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Wednesday ]
April 27th

my bus ride home was horrible we had like one hundred kids on the bus and there was only 64 seats i don't quite know how we all fitted and it was really hot and i think the guy wanted us all today.

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Tuesday ]
April 26th

you can't force love can you?

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Monday, April 25, 2005

Monday ]
April 25th - picture day

my picture is going to turn out horrible. the lady didn't even give anyone a chance to smile. she said "SMILE" and i wasn't even in a half smile before she took the picture. can't wait to get those back.....not.

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Sunday, April 24, 2005

Sunday ]
April 24th

Today is my half birthday which means in a year and a half i can get my drivers permit i can't wait. In six more months i can also get my tatoo bu idk what kind of tatoo i will get though but i have sixth months to decide. Well today i went to melissa's house and then we celebrated my half b-day. Today has been a good day.

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Thursday, April 21, 2005

Thursday ]
April 21st

If I go away
What would still remain of me?
The ghost within your eyes?
The whisper in your sighs?
You see...Believe
And I'm always there.

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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Wednesday ]
April 20th

Today was an alright day except for i got a C- on a sentence diagraming quiz and i'm not allowed to go out today. But atleast i can go out on the weekend.

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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Tuesday ]
April 19th

Today was fun. I got to skip school and go to the beach. I went to the beach today because we r going to be buying a place in Ocean City. I can't wait. Well that is all i have to say because my life is boring. My parents wont let me go to melissa's because they r at my brothers lacross or at work and dont want me going out while they r gone.

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Sunday, April 17, 2005

Sunday ]
April 17th

my life is complicated.

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Thursday, April 14, 2005

Thursday ]
April 14th

Today was a pretty boring day. We watched a movie in social studies that there was real no point of it. Why do i need to know how to build a castle its not like i'm planning on being a castle builder or am i...................to bad i'm not. Then orchestra period 8 was great and we r going to play a piece just for 8 period orchestra day 4. Orchestra was so horrible today after school. The cello's behind me which is seri, ben and the other sixth grade player aka the beast. Sun whee had to take his math test and i was stuck with the horrible cello players that really make me want to quit orchestra. I was supposidly good but i don't think i was. whe the cellos behind me r suppose to play they play either to fast to slow out of tune. But i will have to live with it. so yeah my life is boring.

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Tuesday ]
April 12th

Today was the last day of PSSA'S. I hope i did good because i really don't want to go into a reading lab or a math lab. I tested our catapult in wood tech even though matti and michelle weren't there. Melissa helped me get the three 25's that we got for it. After school i went to melissa's house and we walked around media and then went to back to her house to be picked up. other then that my life has been boring. except yesterday i got my g string. my g string for my cello because the old one broke. so i couldn't practice the cello without it.

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Sunday, April 10, 2005

Sunday ]
April 10th - its our three month anniversery

Its our three month anneversary. I remember when we first started going out that i was afraid that she was using me at first. I also thought that we weren't even going to last a week. i had no clue weather she liked me so i asked people for help like matti and angela, i even asked marquise on what i should do but he wasn't much of a help. I had angela get on like everynight and ask melissa if she liked me but i was never sure if she really even liked me. then at lunch chelsea and emily told me i should ask her out so i did during lunch. I really thought she just said yes at first. We started hanging out more and more until it ended up being every day of every week. I used to be really quiet and shy around her and other people and now i'm not as shy as i used to and i can tell her everything now. I never realy trusted anyone or had a good connection with anyone except for her. We have gone through one break up which was march 29 or 30 and got back together the next day. I felt like it was all my fault and didn't know what i had done wrong. I wouldn't have known what i would have done without her becuase we did everything together. So melissa if ur reading this i love u.

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